Thirsty?

So driving home from Nitelife tonight, I realized I was INCREDIBLY thirsty. Not like, oh I'll grab a glass of water when I get home, but like, I must find the nearest gas station and satisfy this thirst! Never have the lights of 7-11 shined so beautifully.

Normally I don't get that thirsty. I guess I had been running around for the last two hours and didn't slow down enough to realize how thirsty I was. It wasn't until I was sitting quietly in my car that my mind realized how much my body needed water.

All too often that is an analogy for my relationship with God.

Sunday night 10 of us packed in two cars to go film some video footage at a camp. Long story short - what should have been a 3 hour trip became a 5 1/2 hour trip. I was miserable. Two of the things I hate most in life are 1) getting lost and 2) being late. We were both.

So when we pulled into camp at 11:37pm, all I wanted to do was to go to bed. However, everybody else got all excited about making a campfire by the river, so I caved to the peer pressure and went along.

The firepit was set on the edge of a large clearing. The moment I stepped out of the car I was overwhelmed by how many stars filled the sky. At home, I forget how vast the sky is. The light pollution in the city prevents all but the brightest stars from being visible. In that clearing, no light competed with those stars - there were thousands.

Once the mini campfire was going, Dusty got out his guitar and started to sing praises. The sounds of worship filled the air. Then this sing came up:

So much wonder
Carved in your coral seas
So much wonder
Shaded by ancient trees
I consider all that your hands have made
Every newborn’s eyes, every new sunrise
No power can tame your presence
No light can match your radiance

LET ALL CREATION SING IN WONDER
EVERY SEA, EVERY CREATURE, EVERY STAR
YOU OPENED UP MY EYES TO WONDER
WHAT A VISION, WHAT A WONDER YOU ARE

Such a wonder
Ordering time and tide
Such a wonder
Bridging the great divide
I consider all that you had, all you gave
And all that you endured
From this rebel world
What a wondrous cross you chose to bear
What a wonder you would even care


LET ALL CREATION SING IN WONDER
EVERY SEA, EVERY CREATURE, EVERY STAR
YOU OPENED UP MY EYES TO WONDER
WHAT A VISION, WHAT A WONDER YOU ARE

LET EVERY ROCK CRY OUT
LET EVERY KNEE BOW DOWN
YOU OPENED UP MY HEART TO WONDER
WHAT LOVE, WHAT A WONDER YOU ARE

No power can tame your presence
No light can match your radiance
Such a wonder...
Such a wonder...

~Newsboys "In Wonder"

"You opened up my eyes to wonder; what a vision, what a wonder you are." I hadn't realized how much I had been missing the raw, open worship of God. I hadn't realized how much I needed Him to fill me up, because I hadn't stopped to notice I was thirsty. All of my frustrations about the trip melted when I placed them in context with this incredible God we serve. God was waiting in that field to show me the vastness of this universe He created. He was waiting to quench my parched soul.


LET EVERY ROCK CRY OUT
LET EVERY KNEE BOW DOWN

Words

Words are my passion. The power of truth when it is spoken or written or sung is astounding to me. It is not about how many words can be said, but how well they are stated. My heart is always captured by passion overflowing into prose or poetry. Recently I have read books that have educated me, inspired me, and driven me to go into the world and share.

"Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis
- This man was a genius. Here's how you know. This book contains incredibly difficult concepts that have been debated for centuries. Concepts that have caused men to be saved, men to sin, churches to grow, and churches to divide. But he speaks about these concepts with simple illustrations in common language. It is a book that can open doors to conversations about difficult subjects by taking down the walls about what is acceptable to talk about at church. A smart guy knows a lot. A genius can teach the rest of us what he knows.

"Captivating" by John & Staci Elderage
- I loved this book because it was so raw and truthful. Yes, it talks about pain and spiritual warfare, but it also talks about love and beauty. All these concepts that my heart has known, they find a way to express in this book. It is affirming to know I am not alone in my struggles and my pain is justified. It was both a torment and a pleasure to read. It opened places I don't like talking about, but it reminded me of the incredible truth that God loves me in spite of my flaws.

"When Answers Aren't Enough" by Matt Rogers
- This was written by my pastor from NLCF in Blacksburg, VA. This was another book that stirred me because it is so raw. I told Matt that the courage it must have taken to write that book is more than I can imagine. It is a walk through grief and healing. This book is about the last year since the VA Tech shootings. He isn't afraid of talking about good vs. evil and feeling anger toward the evil that has occurred. But after showing the audience the pain that comes after something tragic, he walks towards hope. By the end of the book I was crying. Not with grief, but with overwhelming appreciation for the grace my Father has shown me.

To all those with something they've learned from God: please keep writing and telling what you know. I got incredibly frustrated with a TV evangelist who preached Fire and Brimstone with no grace or mercy. What if this is the only side of Christianity the world sees?

But I reminded myself, if I wish to show the world the Loving God I know, I must talk about Him. Sing about Him. Write about him.

How will the world know if they have never heard?

Stumbling into God's will

Sometimes I think that finding the will of God is like the ultimate game of Where's Waldo. There are distractions and imitations that make finding truth nearly impossible

But every once in a while, I'll turn one page and there he is, right in the center of the page as obvious as day. God revealed his will in an amazing way tonight.

I've been praying for a while about my desire to build up a ministry of the girls in the youth group. For a few years they haven't had many women leaders, so many of them have been missing that strong female guidance. God has been teaching me about the importance of finding myself beautiful. I see so many of the challenges women face are based around the idea that we are not good enough, that we are not beautiful either physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.

Well tonight I gathered a group of women together to talk about a retreat for the youth girls. I asked the question, "If you could go back and teach yourself any lesson in high school that you know now, what would it be?" I thought it would take a lot of thought, but answers came from everyone without hesitation.
"Don't go running after boys." "Seek God to fulfill you." "Don't build up walls against the world." "Wait on boys"... they went on and on. And when I said, "How about 'Finding ourselves beautiful' to summarize," everyone nodded.

Something God had made me passionate about he had given the same desire to everyone at that table. God is walking before us and we have stumbled right upon his will. Pretty awesome.

Thoughts on Great Women of Faith

Last week at Bible study (Wednesday nights 9pm at James' house, everyone should go), we split girls and guys, and we girls got in a discussion about something that I struggle with all the time. All these great women of faith, the women who serve God until he takes them to heaven, the Mother Theresas and Ruth Grahams of the world, how did they do it? What kind of decisions did they make to get them where they were? Did they get up in the morning and think, "Yes, today I will serve the Lord in this..." or "I will sacrifice this for the good of the Kingdom." How many times a day did they do that? Weren't the exhausted of serving? How did they get refreshed from God? Is it possible that one day I might be able to join the ranks of such phenomenal women? Will I be able to follow the footsteps of Christ for 50 more years? Or will I be like so many others who grow weary and fall off the path.

I love 2 Timothy. Paul knows he won't live much longer and is sending Timothy his last words of wisdom. I hope someday I may be able to speak the words that Paul did:


"For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award me on that day - and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearing."
- 2 Timothy 4:6-8