Scripture with Mad Libs

Have you ever done a Mad Lib? They're those awesomely ridiculous sentences where you add a verb, noun, adjective, etc. and make the regular sentence funny.

Example:
Pick a 1) verb ending in "ing" _______________
2) A place ________________
3) An adjective ________________
5) A noun ______________
6) a verb ending in "ing" __________________
7) A noun _______________
8) A verb _________________

This is a ___________ news report. This just in from ______________.   14 ______________  ____________have been spotted ______________ near  a/an__________.  Police are on their way to ________________.

This is a singing news report.  This just in from my house.  14 gold pencils have been spotted licking near a television.  Police are on their way to the site to camp.

See - a silly sentence made from replacing a normal sentence with random words.  

But this time, let's play it with scripture.

Here is the back story.  In Exodus chapter 35 Moses gives instructions for the people what they should bring to the Lord as an offering to build the Tabernacle.    Every fine thing was used in the construction: gold, bronze, linens, leathers, acacia wood, olive oil, spices, and gemstones.  And the people gave generously.  All of these articles became a wave offering to the Lord for his goodness.

Once all the supplies had been gathered, Moses gave the Israelites further instruction that God had given him:

“Then Moses said to the Israelites, “See, the LORD has chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills – to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood and to engage in all kinds of artistic crafts.  And he has given both him and Oholiab son of Ahisamak, of the tribe of Dan, the ability to teach others.  He has filled them with skill to do all kinds of work as engravers, designers,  embroiderers in blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen, and weavers – all of them skilled workers and designers. So Bezalel, Oholiab and every skilled person to whom the LORD has given skill and ability to know how to carry out all the work of constructing the sanctuary are to do the work just as the LORD has commanded.” Exodus 35:30-35; 36:1

Bezalel must have been a great man of God.  God gifted him and blessed him with his Spirit, something that was very rarely given before Christ's sacrifice.  Specific people were given God's spirit at very specific moments to do a very specific task.  It might have been to lead the people of Israel, to help them worship the Lord, to prophesy for the people, sometime where God wanted to gift his power on one of his people. God gifted Bezalel with the responsibility of overseeing the construction of the tabernacle and the skills to do that.  In addition to his skills, he gave Bezalel and Oholiab to ability to teach others these skills.  They accepted this great responsibility to serve the Lord through construction and taught others to join them in this act of worship.

In thinking about the power of this scripture, I created a Mad Lib.

Now: the Mad Libs:
1) Your name
2) the roles God has given you (mother, father, mentor, teacher, engineer, boss, employee, craftsman, etc).
3) A fellow believer you work closely with in these roles.

“'See, the LORD has chosen ____(1)______, and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills – to _____(2)_______.  And he has given both him and ___(3)________,  the ability to teach others.  He has filled them with skill to do all kinds of work. So ___(1)____&__(3)________ and every skilled person to whom the LORD has given skill and ability […] are to do the work just as the LORD has commanded.”

Bezalel  received the Holy Spirit and accepted his responsibility to serve God through the gifts and the wisdom that God had given him.    Do we approach our gifts the same way?  We who are followers of Christ have all been given gifts and abilities through the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 12, Eph 4:11, etc).  But do we approach using these gifts with as much reverence and responsibility that Bezalel had?  If we saw our homes, our jobs, and our families in light of this responsibility, would it change how we approached things?

Often I fall into the trap to believe that my success is based on my own ability.  But who gives me that ability? Who blesses my steps and my pathway to use these gifts? It is my responsibility to use these gifts for the Lord, otherwise I have dishonored the Holy Spirit.

So Lord, how do I do that?

The Dog Park

Last Saturday morning, we took Jackson to the dog park. Dog parks are a fascinating biological study of animal behavior. It takes very little time for a group of dogs to be introduced and to establish boundaries and rules. Lots of butt sniffing occurs but once everyone is introduced, play can in sue. Even if one dog plays too rough and the other dog will quickly bear his teeth or give a short nip to express his displeasure. Again, that establishes boundaries, and play can continue.

It looks very much like a kindergarten playground. There are the kids who are nice leaders, nice followers, mean leaders, mean followers, intentional outsiders, and unintentional outsiders. If the kids in the roles balance, harmony reigns. If too many of one type of kid come to play, volcanoes can erupt.

Our dog is a mean leader. He insists that everyone play. Whether they want to or not, he will bully them into running with him or chasing them or wrestling with him. He’s like to kid who wants to play baseball and only has 5 kids who really want to play. But he goes around trying to force enough kids onto the field to be able to play a game. “Hey Jimmy, get over here. You’re going to play 3rd base. And Jill, you’re going to go to outfield, and Jack, you’re going to be on my team and bat after me, Hank and Lisa.” Lots of kids just give up and follow. They might rather have sat on the grass and picked dandilions, but they’re peacemakers, so sure, right field sounds great.

 Other kids will stand up to him. “No. I’m not playing baseball with you. Forget it.” He may push back, but bullies are ultimately afraid of other bullies, so a few threats and he’ll back off. Again, peace has reigned on the playground.

 But then the 5th grade playground king walks onto the field. He is the mean leader of all mean leaders. If things don’t go as he wants, there will be hell to pay. However, Mean Leader #1 won’t back off easily. “Hey Mike – you can play pitcher. I’ve got the ball, let’s get going.” Then Mike takes the ball, walks off the field with it and starts throwing it with his sidekick (because every playground king has a sidekick) as they walk start to walk away toward the swings. “Hey! Give me that back! You have to pitch! Hey! Hey!” Mean leader #1 won’t give up. He has missed all the signals that Mike is angry and serious. He should have just let him walk away, but he’s too stubborn to do that. Mike, the Playground King, is pushed over the edge, and Mean Leader #1 ends up flat on his back with a black eye as Playground King walks off with the ball. 

Jackson, our mean leader of a dog, had organized the pack of dogs to play with him. Things were going well, lots of tennis ball chasing, a few wrestling matches, all was harmony. Then the German Shepherd entered. She was huge, regal, and wanted her own way. Jackson pushed her to join. He pushed, and pushed, and pushed. We tried to call him away from him because we could see this wouldn’t go well, but he wouldn’t listen. At first, she ignored and did what she wanted. Then, she got tired of him, and the fight got ugly. She pinned him to the ground and bit him square in the face. If the shephard’s owner and Greg had not intervened she would have killed him.

Greg pulled him from the fight, got bit along the way, and dragged him away from the other dog. That was the end of the dog park. He was angry and hurt. A big gash above his eye and enough blood dripping from his eye that we thought a trip to the emergency vet might be required.

We got him in the car and drove home. The drive home Greg and I were both angry. Angry at him for not listening to us when we told him to back off, angry at ourselves for not being able to train him, angry that we need him to get exercise but can’t trust him to run and play nicely. We talked in the car. “How do we teach this dog not to pick fights? He can’t be the town bully, but how do we tell him that? 5 or 6 rounds at the dog park and it doesn’t seem like he’s learned at all. If he doesn’t get his way he fights until he does, and if he fights too hard he ends up bloody and angry. He’s like a 10 year old kid who keeps getting kicked out of school for fighting.”

 “I wish he were a kid, then at least we could talk to him. We can’t talk to our dog, so how do we get him to learn?”

 We dragged him into the house in silence. He seemed to recognize our anger and walked meekly beside us. Greg sat him down with gauze, rubbing alcohol and antibacterial ointment and began to patch him up. He didn’t fight us when we poked and prodded and cleaned him up; it felt like he was trying to apologize.

 I couldn’t help but think that this situation felt like a parallel to my relationship with God. A hundred times God has tried to teach me, mold me, and guide me with “great patience with even the worst sinners” (1 Tim 1:16), and yet I still won’t learn. He sends me into the world to allow me to use his guidance and direction, then I screw up again. He brings me back home, patches me up, loves me, and tries again. I can’t imagine how much I grieve the Lord when he has to constantly retrain me. I feel grief when I have to retrain my dog and he doesn’t have a soul! God wants to give me even greater space to run and play and share his word, but I can’t learn enough not to fight. How much easier wouldn’t it be if God could just sit down with me on the couch and talk to me! But that’s not how God works. He could sit us down and talk to us, but he chooses not to. He wants us to come to him, read his truth through His Word, and be trained during our lives by hearing constant redirection by the Holy Spirit.

 First Lord, thank you. You didn’t give up on me even when you rescued me from my own sinful self. You teach me and train me and love me through my own mess. This week, help me hear your Holy Spirit’s redirection. I don’t want to pick the wrong fights or try to get my own way when I am really supposed to just slow down and love those around me. I’m sorry I’m more stubborn than my dog, but that does make me so thankful for your grace. Thank you.

 And finally Lord… if it’s not too much to ask… could you teach Jackson to sleep a little later than 530?

Home?

Well, I'm now back. 15 weeks in South Africa, 19 hours of flight time, and I'm back in Virginia. I'm home... sort of.
Right now Greg and I are still Nomads, living in friends' houses, and trying to figure out how to resettle into life here in Virginia Beach.

Two weeks back and I've gotten the same question about a hundred times, "How was South Africa?" What is the answer to that? Do you want the 2 minute answer, the 20 minute answer, or the 3 day answer?

My difficulty to answer this question probably comes from the same reason I haven't written in my blog. How do I put into words such an experience? How could I do justice to expressing what God is doing in South Africa, and what he is doing in my life? How do I try to explain what it's like to be a foreigner in a society of dozens of overlapping cultures. Each group of people has its own economic standing, social expectations, internal and external conflicts, and frequently separate languages. Right now, South Africa is in the midst of a precarious status quo; many separate groups living in the same space, and unsure how to react to each other.

God's desire is to reach each culture, and each people group, around the globe. Too often we, as followers of Christ, decide who to reach out to based on who we are. We live with filters of what we think people need and of what we think it means to love people, but too often we miss the mark.

I think one of the challenging parts of being in South Africa, was that God opened my eyes enough to know that the Western church very often gets things wrong. Unfortunately, God left out the piece about what the answer is supposed to be. As frustrating as that can be, I recognize this to be intentional. If God withholds knowledge, He challenges me to follow Him instead of my own wisdom.

So how do I reconcile all of this? How do I take the experiences this summer and use them to produce fruit in Virginia Beach? How do I not get frustrated about Hummers with 30 inch rims when there are children who need food? But who am I to decide that owning my Honda is better than owning a Hummer?

Why does this place feel so foreign, that once felt like home?

Ok, so I'm a failure as a blogger

I'm now just shy of posting a month apart. I tried to commit to writing at least once a week, and I clearly did not reach that goal. Still, please have some grace for me, I have not been sitting around. The last three weeks have been incredibly busy.

Tomorrow (Saturday the 3rd) will mark the return of our Week 3 Trailer Ministry teams. This was our biggest week so far, with trailers in 10 different communities. In each of the previous two weeks we had trailers in 5 communities, and the logistics involved in that has been tremendous. It's been interesting that this week has been actually a little easier because we've gotten into a rhythm. We've had teams arriving, being trained, out on ministry, coming back, debriefing, and going home, all overlapping, so the timing and details have certainly been a challenge.

This week has been quite different for me because it started with me lying in bed with an Angry African Flu. Clearly, this is not it's actual name but I haven't had a flu like that in years. I was pretty well stuck in bed for going on 5 days which brought on horrible cabin fever. Still, with time and antibiotics, I'm doing much better and for the last two days I actually got to go out with one of our teams. We were with New Life Praise Church in Stinkwater (pronounce this town stink-V-ater... Afrikaans makes a W sound like a V). Working in this area was definitely a lesson in small town politics and corruption, but that's a story for another time.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support, I'll try to be better about posting in the coming weeks. As I have time, I'll try to put up a quick story or two from this last month. I hope you're all diligently watching the World Cup, and feel free to email me anytime =)

5 More things I've Learned about South Africa

1) A monkey in a church will inevitably get poo on the one piece of exposed sound equipment.

A monkey we have named Herman has moved into our grounds in the last few days, and Tuesday he managed to sneak his way into the church. This was hilarious and a little frightening, because we didn't know if he would get violent if he got cornered. Still, he did a spectacular job flinging poo everywhere. I haven't been able to snap a picture of him yet, but I'll get one soon. MONKEY IN THE CHURCH! Africa is awesome.

2) Greg lied to me and made me believe there is a bird who is afraid of heights.

The hadeda ibis is a ridiculously loud bird. They're named that because they say "HA-DE-DA, HA-DE-DA!" really loud while flying. Greg convinced me that they're afraid of heights and don't like to fly. Part of me feels stupid for having believed him, but I like the idea that they're afraid of heights because they yell the whole time they're flying. I reject the reality and substitute my own.

3) It is important for the safety of those around you to stay on Twitter during a staff meeting.

Monday morning we were sitting in staff meeting and Bruce (our associate pastor) falls over laughing. He said, "Marcel just posted to Twitter: "If anyone is reading this at Eastside, I'm stuck in the bathroom. Can you please come let me out?"'
Marcel, one of the Ignite interns, was in fact, stuck in the bathroom stall because the handle on the inside had broken off. However, this story gets more ridiculous because Marcel was the 3rd person to get stuck in that bathroom. A 10-year-old boy got stuck on Friday and an American guy named Nate got stuck an hour after arriving in South Africa. Marcel wandered around telling people not to get stuck and we posted a sign, only to get himself stuck and tell everyone in the land of Twitter about it.

4) In the grocery store, you can buy a frozen bag of chicken heads and chicken feet. They are called Walkie Talkies. (I'm not joking about this... the name is ridiculous... and the chickens still have beaks and eyeballs.)

5)Nothing in ministry is final until it has already happened.

I am now at the point of assuming that all things will change constantly, and anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Still, the World Cup starts tomorrow whether we're ready or not - so hopefully God's got the rest of the details in His hands =)

Keep praying for the orientations and send-out of our first teams this weekend!

I Consider Myself Repremanded

Annie - Your white girl american fans are awaiting a blog update .
-stacy

Alright, as the 6 of you reading this demand... here's Africa post #3! I've already broken my commitment to post once a week, but I'll try to be more consistent from here.

So what am I actually doing here?

Well, this is what my days look like.

First, this is the view I wake up to. (Admittedly, the polution adds to the beauty of the sunrise, but it is still a spectacular panorama of Pretoria.) Our apartment (aka "flat") is in an area of town called Queenswood which is a decent drive from Eastside, but it's spacious and comfortable, so no complaints. Right now I'm living here with Kelsey and Christina, two other American interns who arrived about 10 days ago.

The three of us commute in one of two vehicles. #1 is the Bloubessie. She is a spunky, electric blue (her name means "Blueberry" in Afrikaans) Daewoo Matiz packed with a 0.9 Liter (yes... less than 1 liter) engine. There is NOTHING power in the car, no power steering, no power locks, no speakers, no radio, not even a working overhead light. Greg calls her a motorcycle with a roof. But, I do not complain. She has been excellent transport. The other vehicle I drive is the polar opposite of the Bloubessie, a Volkswagen Kombi named Tannie Aster ("Tannie Aster" means "Auntie Iron" in Afrikaans). In a land of small cars, this is a mega-soccer-mom van. It's nice for transporting people and stuff, and people always let me merge on the highway, but it's obnoxiously big.

40 minutes after leaving our lovely flat, we arrive at Eastside. The grounds at Eastside are beautiful. When they bought the land (4 years ago, I think?), everyone said it was a horrible place for a church that nothing would ever grow on the land. But alas, we have amazing grounds guys and the flowers are still blooming in what is quickly becoming winter. (I don't know the name of this flower, I just think it's really neat looking. I'll ask one of the guys and see if I can find out the name.)

Mornings always start with quiet time and prayer meeting, and 2 days a week we have workout club. After that, the day is filled with meetings, emails, phone calls, and general preparation for connecting our teams with the churches we're working with around the Gautang area (Gautang is the province we're in).

It seems unbelievable that I've been here almost a month, and more unbelievable that the World Cup is only 8 days away. At times this task seems insurmountable, but each day God has given us a new reason to trust his faithfulness. This morning for example, Joint Aid Management (JAM) Food Ministries committed to donate as much food as we need to feed every kid we meet on ministry. That's between 3500 & 4000 kilograms (7700-8800) pounds of food free of charge. With portions around 100 grams per child, we can provide 40,000 meals over these 4 weeks. Pretty incredible.

Thanks for all your prayers, please keep praying as the teams begin to go into ministry in the coming weeks. If you want to follow more about the ministry, we're now launching a website www.trailerministry.com where you can follow more of what's happening when I'm not consistent updating my blog =)

Dumela a Tshwane!

10 days in South Africa and I have had quite an education so far. Here are 5 fun things I've learned since I've been here:

1) I've learned that Pretoria is no longer called Pretoria. The new name of this city is Tshwane, which makes much more sense given that it is in a region that speaks mostly the tribal language of Tshwana. I've tried to learn as much Tswana as I can, but there are lots of sounds that are not in English. Last weekend we had a training in the region of Hammanskraal with the pastors of the churches we'll be working with in the area. We spent all of Saturday training their church volunteers to run programs within their churches, and many of the volunteers had fun trying to teach me Tswana. I have "thank you" down, and I'm definitely ok with "hello" (dumela) but a few of the other important words like "good morning", "good evening" and "good bye" I'm still practicing. My pronunciation of those is very white girl American. But the churches have been really excited about building children's programs and soccer programs, and it's exciting that we get to be a part of helping resource their ideas.

2) I've also learned a few important Afrikaans phrases, most specifically, "Gaan kotz in die bos." This means "Go puke in the bush." It can be used in it's literal form, but mostly is used to dismiss anyone who is being ridiculous.

3) Many South Africans (particularly taxi drivers) consider driving laws optional, particularly stop signs and robots (aka stoplights). Also, merging is a vehicular demonstration of Survival of the Fittest; Darwin would be proud.

4) God can, and does, provide for His people in miraculous ways. We had about 120 people to feed lunch to on Saturday, and there is no way that the gas to cook the rice or the rice itself should have lasted. But as we scooped out rice, it continued to extend, and we ended up with two small bowls left over. It was awesome to watch. Those same meals will be what we're bringing with our trailers during the World Cup. We want to feed every child that comes to a Holiday Club, and we are doing it with this rice meal that is supplemented with vitamins. We can feed 6 kids for just 36 US cents; it's quite a product. We're still about $3500 short, but God has already shown up, and we believe he will continue to do so.


5) Cricket is a very odd game. Two guys run back and forth between three sticks on each side and have to hit a ball that is bowled by a guy who pitches kind of like fast-pitch softball. Saturday afternoon I put these big leg protectors on and giant squishy gloves and learned to bat in some batting cages. It's quite an odd hitting motion, particularly with all the gear on. But honestly, more odd than that is the fact that in the original form of the game, it lasts 5 days, 8 hours each day. What kind of spectator sport lasts 40 straight hours? And, within those 8 hours there are two tea breaks and a lunch break. I'm not convinced it should be permissible to have a tea break during a sporting event. However, Greg is playing on a team that plays a short version of the game called 20/20 Cricket. It only took about 2 1/2 hours to play. This was much more tolerable than 8 hours with tea breaks.


You can see a few of my pictures from the first week are up (just click on the slideshow and they'll come up full screen). I'll post more later in the week (uploading just uses a lot of bandwidth).

Thanks for all your prayers - keep praying for more food, blankets, and volunteers.

~A

Welkom in Pretoria!

(Welcome to Pretoria... in Afrikaans)
I am now in the process of absorbing at least two new languages (Afrikaans and Tswana) plus the dialect that is South African English.

I landed last night around 6pm local time after a long and excellently turbulent flight. (It was about 4 hours of turbulence... I thought the fuselage was going to just split apart at the seems.) But alas, I landed and so did both my bags (though I did also learn not to borrow a bag right before a trip - I had no idea which black rectangular bag was mine).

Greg picked me up from the airport and took me out to his apartment complex where my excellent host family had organized a braai (a South African barbeque) to welcome me. It also felt quite good to sleep in a bed last night.

Today, I jumped in (was thrown in?) with both feet with three meetings with leaders and pastors to discuss upcoming plans. It's great to see so many people getting behind one vision and one mission.

The plan for tomorrow is one more meeting with a pastor, and then 6 of us are driving off to Hammanskraal (about 35 minutes north of Pretoria) to run the 2nd of 5 trainings for pastors and volunteers in the area. When the international teams come in, they will work with a local, under-resourced church and the local church volunteers to run programs for the local children, teens, and adults in the area. So this training is for those pastors and local volunteers. One of the big goals of this program is to help empower many of the under-resourced churches to use what they have to reach their communities in positive ways.

Still In Virginia

Ok, so for those of you who were expecting a "Annie Landed Safely" message... I haven't taken off yet. Due to bad weather in Atlanta my flight into Atl got canceled and I rebooked for today. So, I take off for Atlanta in a couple of hours and with any luck I'll land in SA tomorrow (Wednesday) around Noon Eastern (US) time, 6pm SA time.

Thanks for your prayers, I'll let you know when I get there.

Preparation?

How is it, that after months of preparation I still feel so extraordinarily unprepared to go to South Africa? All I've done for weeks is make lists, run errands, send emails, make phone calls, organize, pack, plan, sell 80% of my worldly possessions, and yet I still don't feel ready to leave. I know my brain says that no one ever feels ready to leave, but that doesn't steady my emotions enough to make me sleep well. Andy Stanley has said that no one is ever more than 80% sure of any major change and I guess that 20% feels as if it is bearing down on me tonight.

I have Pandora playing on a worship station right now and Passion's version of "Better is One Day" is on.
Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house, Better is one day in Your courts, than thousands elsewhere

Lord, teach me to trust that truth. I am following as You have asked, I am choosing to be obedient in the tasks you have put before me, but I am having trouble seeing the blessing beyond the sacrifice. I want to believe that my life will be more blessed and more fruitful and more honoring to You and those around me as I am following Your direction into Your "courts" and Your ministry, but my head doesn't know how to trust that right now.

Steph and I were watching tv the other day and this commercial came on where this couple was talking about the horrible weeds in their back yard and the struggle in destroying the dandelions. I made fun of it and told Steph that if Greg and I ever get to a point where our biggest stress in life is killing the weeds in our lawn, she has free permission to punch me in the face.

She laughed but responded (perhaps quite prophetically), "Yeah, but there may come a day when you'll wish your biggest stress is the weeds in your lawn."

I know, that with the greatest challenges come the greatest growth. And I am honored that God would think I am worthy of such an incredible task, but that doesn't make me feel any more prepared.

But, tomorrow the sun will rise. I cannot think 10 months down the road, for that matter I can't think 10 days down the road. I will choose to honor God with tomorrow... and then I'll go from there.

2 talks!

I'm a little behind on getting talks online

We did a series at Fuse in March about Honoring God with our Time, Talent & Treasure. Here's my talk on honoring God with our treasure: enjoy =)











Here's my talk from last week about Jesus: 100% God and 100% Man.







Ok, More excitement than you guys can handle!

Thoughts? Questions? Comments? let me know =)

19 days... Unbelieveable

I'm not even sure I've written that much about my trip, but Monday May 3rd I leave for 3 months in South Africa. All the planning, all the preparation, all the work... and I'm down to 19 days.

The story of how I've gotten to this point is a wonderful story of God's provision. When I get a few extra minutes, I'll post that. My goal while I'm down there is to post stories and pictures each week on my Sabbath day (maybe Tuesdays?), but for now, please be praying for safe travel and the preparation of my heart.

I am so thrilled to be able to take this time to serve the people in South Africa. ... And I can't wait for some more African Worship!

Sometimes We Just Have to Show Up

This week at work has been nuts and exhausting. It has also not helped that the Olympics are on and force me to stay up late to watch the intensity of obscure sports like skicross and women's bobsledding (both of which I would really like to try!). All that to say that tonight as I was driving home from work I was thinking of every reason why I shouldn't go help at Nitelife (our middle school youth group) tonight.

I said a short prayer of, "God, I don't have anything left, if I'm going to be at all useful tonight to this ministry, it's going to have to be through your stength and your stength alone." And with that, I drove over there, totally exhausted but willing to try.

And God provided. Upon arriving, I had immediate energy and God reminded me why I love middle schoolers.

He's done this before, but I need to be taught this lesson quite often. God sometimes just wants us to show up. He's ready to do the work through us, if we just ask and make ourselves available as willing hands and feet.

Why I love Jane Austen.

**Note: I almost didn't post this after I wrote it, but I'm being brave and truthful on a topic in which I think many can relate. Ok so here goes.**


This is a discourse I have repeated rather frequently, but tonight Steph and I drank tea and watched Sense and Sensibility, so I am again obliged to dote on Jane Austen. Look, it even effects my writing. What a very Jane-Austen-type first sentence.

And yes, I love the way her characters interact and the dialogue they use, but more than that, I love her view on love.

Too often I am frustrated with the way movies and books and tv shows view love. Love sparks into a burning flame and then is extinguished in rapid succession with few consequences. Too many movies attempt to illustrate love between characters by simply a romantic line, a passionate sex scene, and some sweet conversation they have lying next to each other with artfully placed bedsheets. But that's too easy. That's cheapening love into some sappy combination of emotional and physical lust. I describe it that way particularly because I think too many times women lust after emotional connection, no matter how temporary or contrived. But that is not love.

Love is complicated. It is selfless and committed. It seeks the good of another before the good of oneself. Often love is confusing, and frequently it can be crushing. The term "heartache" is very aptly named and doesn't just happen at the end of a relationship. When love cannot be bistowed on whom the heart is attached, whether because of distance or dischord, the heart aches. Just as love is not easily grown, heartache cannot easily be remedied. It is the opposite of the passionate fire and quickly extinguished lust. But the slow, steady attachment is the right kind of love.

Jane Austen's characters must see all sides of the complexity of love before they are able to find real love. Now, it is true that all of her characters always ultimately end in love, but isn't that what we all want in the end? In Sense and Sensibility there are a series of star-crossed lovers who keep their love for one another a secret from the world. It is the loyalty and longing between these separated lovers that is ultimately much more fulfilling than any spontaneous encounter and passionate sex scene.

It's like Jim & Pam in the Office. It's Jim's extended devotion to her even when she was not reciprocating affection that is so engaging and powerful.

Perhaps I am biased toward this kind of love. It is the kind of love I know best; the kind that knows the deep ache of separation and the elation of reunion. And though it seems difficult and complicated and confusing, I would never trade this love for the emotional and physical lust that is advertised in most modern stories.

I think if we spent more time learning to be like Elinor Dashwood and less time learning the lessons of the doctors of Grey's Anatomy, our views of relationships and marriages would be much more sound.

Exodus 6

This year, Greg and I have decided to read through the Bible. We've chosen a chronological reading plan which I really like because I'm interested to see how all of the books overlap and see how the events lead to one another. Right now, my knowledge of the Old Testament is many snapshots and stories, but I lack the big picture in many places.

Therefore, throughout the year I'll just be posting interesting things that I have been studying. First, did you know that the book of Job falls before the time of Abraham? We read the book of Job after chapter 11 of Genesis, then picked Genesis back up and finished it a few days ago. On to Exodus.

I love Moses because he is so amazingly human. We tend to think of him as this great prophet and leader, but he was hesitant and unbelieving and came up with every excuse he could think of to not follow through with what God had asked of him. Have I ever done that. Surely I have been in Moses shoes (though, perhaps with not such a great task ahead of me as he had).

But today I was actually most engaged not in what Moses did, but in the Israelites. The beginning of Chapter 6 is a profound promise that the Lord gives to Moses that reaffirms all of the truths that he told Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. God promises deliverence and redemption. God finishes his speech to Moses by saying "I am the LORD" where the word LORD is YHWH in Hebrew. It means the existing one. The name was considered so holy that most Hebrews would never dare speak it. It is power and authority, and He is declaring his intentions and actions.

And the Israelites ignored Him.

vs.9 "Moses reported this to the Israelites, but they did not listen to him because of their discouragement and cruel bondage."

At this point the Israelites already knew that God has spoken to Moses, but their circumstances and struggles blinded them to the spectacular miracle that was about to take place around them and for them. How many times has God wanted to change my circumstances, deliver me, and bless me, when I was not open to accept his blessing? How many times have I gotten lost in my own earthly troubles and missed the Heavenly plan going on around me? For generations the Israelites had cried out to God for deliverance, but they were not ready for it when it came. Am I prepared for God to answer all the prayers I have asked of him? If tomorrow, God opened the floodgates of blessing onto my life, would I respond with joy and thanksgiving or continue to focus on other struggles in my life?

How do I teach what I don't yet understand?

I should be sleeping, but sometimes the only way of working through things is to write them out.

9am Sunday mornings I teach Middle School Sunday school. Earlier tonight I realized I wanted to talk about the tragedy in Haiti, and where is God in the midst of this kind of pain and suffering? But as I have been working on the Scripture and the lesson plan... I feel like the more I seek the less I know.

There are dozens of passages of scripture about suffering and enduring for the sake of Christ, but most of them are based on the idea of persecution due to faith. What about natural disasters? What about random acts of hate? I went over to my book shelf and pulled Matt Rogers' book "When Answers Aren't Enough" hoping to refresh some great wisdom or passage to help my kids understand. But as I flipped back through the book, scar tissue began to wear away, and I once again felt the sting of April 16th. This book was written in the year following the shootings and many of the experiences Matt shared were experiences I know and remember vividly.

It's funny, because in the almost 3 years since the tragedy I have talked to dozens, probably hundreds of people about what happened. "You graduated from Virginia Tech?" "Yes, back in 2007." "Oh... so were you... like there?" "Yes, I was. But it didn't at all ruin my experience at school. In fact, once the media left, things were much more stable. It was so great to see the community build around one another and come together for support." I have repeated this conversation many times.

But I think I still have so many unanswered questions! Why that day?! Why those people?! One day later and I would have been in that building, in one of those rooms at 9:30am. One change of day may have saved my life. but why?

I thought I had dealt with so many of these questions, and though I know the answers I, as a follower of Jesus, should give, sometimes they just don't seem adequate. Do I believe that in "all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose"? Yes. Do I believe that Jesus came that we might have "life, and life to the full"? Yes. Do I believe that God has plans for me that are to "prosper and not to harm, but to give hope and a future"? Yes. And I know, that death and tragedy and evil and hate are a result of sin in a fallen, broken world... but why that moment? Why wasn't it me? Why didn't the gun jam? I know that God does not produce evil, I know that God is perfectly righteous, and I know that God has far more power than Satan. So why did God not intervene on April 16th?

How can I teach what I don't yet understand? I don't know. But I refuse to shy away from the subject just because I am still learning. Tomorrow morning, I will sit with my middle schoolers and we will talk. If nothing else, I want them to know that to be confused is ok. To be frustrated is ok. To be angry is ok. Sometimes God is just asking us to pursue our questions, not to have all the answers.

Isaac & Rebekah

A Godly Marriage.

I feel kind of cliche writing about this, but I guess it's also important that God is teaching me things about it. Theknot.com says Greg and I have 347 days until we get married; this seems like an eternity and in instant at the same time. Tonight one verse in Genesis jumped out at me. It reveals an intimate portrait of a husband and a wife living under God's plan and provision.

Genesis 25:21 "Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The Lord answered his prayer and his wife Rebekah became pregnant."

Isaac knew that he was the blessed child that God had promised his parents for so many years. He knew that God had promised to fulfill his covenant to His people through his lineage, but yet his wife was barren.

Beth Moore wrote an interesting commentary about this passage, "God wasn't about to let such an important promise seem naturally fulfilled. Had Isaac and Rebekah conceived the first year, they would have been tremendously less attentive to spiritual purpose and divine participation."

For some reason, God chose women to bare children instead of men, and too often as our modern society shows, men can become detached from the whole process after their initial participation. God did not want Isaac to feel detached from the importance of the children with whom He was about to bless him & Rebekah. Rebekah could not fulfill God's plan on her own, she needed Isaac to pray over her so they could fulfill God's plan together.

Still, I can't help but notice it was 20 years between their marriage and the ultimate birth of Esau & Jacob. Did it take Isaac 20 years to think God might want him to pray over Rebekah, or did he do it all along, and God just waited to fulfill the promise? Either way, it does show the growth of a Godly man desiring to lead his marriage in a Godly way.

We women in modern America are too often able to "do it on our own." Whatever it is, whether in jobs or raising children or whatever. There has been a trend in Hollywood for late30s and early40s actresses to adopt or have a baby without a man around. But this goes against what God wants for his people. There is a generation of complacent men in America because women have not allowed them to learn to lead.

I am thrilled that I have a man who desires to lead our relationship, and I pray I am never a hindrance in what God is building in him. I love the idea of God blessing him so dramatically that his prayers over me are more powerful than any I could pray on my own.

I guess God does like us to be in community.

Refreshing Relationships

Last night was an incredible reminder of the value and necessity of having Godly female relationships.

Sher Vogel & Katie Pepiot came over to visit Steph & I and have dinner with us. We all met at VT, and at various times we have been together in classes and homegroup and mission trips. Our paths have happened to recross here in VA Beach for a short time, so dinner was required.

Katie returned in August from 2 years serving in the Peace Corps in South Africa, and Monday October 5th Sher leaves for the Peace Corps in Ethiopia.

The night was really relaxed. I enjoyed cooking for everyone because I rarely have anyone to cook for but me. We talked about life now and future plans and memories from back at VT. All four of us have been in South Africa in the last year, so it was great to talk about each of our experiences. It was really good to see how God has been training all four of us in different ways since we left Blacksburg.

Steph, Katie & I wanted to pray over Sher before she leaves next week but she would not allow us to do so until we premitted her to pray over us in turn. That's just the kind of woman Sher is =)

I was so refreshed by the night. There are times I feel like Elijah that I want to complain about being "the only one left". That "no one understands what I'm going through." And just when I start to fall into those states, God reminds me of all those around me who are serving the Lord with passionate and pure hearts.

It is nights like these that remind me how important it is to have a consistent Sabbath and to leave margin in my life. It is only in these times that I allow space for God to change my perspective.

Honestly... I really do like Blogging

I know you wouldn't believe it based on the extended time in between posts, but my excuse this time is guilt. I haven't made time to finish writing about Africa so I didn't want to write about other stuff until I finished. I have now given up on my idealism. I'll post Africa #3 as soon as I can.

The most important part of Africa that I didn't write about is...

I'M ENGAGED! Ok, so all of you who are reading this already know this. I just kept this off the blog for a while to make sure everybody knew.


This is a staged picture, but the emotion is still real; it was only a couple minutes after he proposed. (It was taken by this poor cleaning man whom I think we scared the heck out of.)

We are thrilled to be engaged, it still feel surreal some days. The two Tswana words I learned in the village we went to in South Africa were "mohonyana" and "makoti" those are the words for "bridegroom" and "bride," respectively. That's the closest they could teach us to fiance. I was also told that the $4 ring Greg bought me as a temporary engagement ring, must be worn on my right hand. The Tswana tradition moves the ring hand from the right ring finger to the left ring finger at the wedding.

I absolutely love the ring Greg designed & had made. It is a simple solitaire with a textured band. We got to go pick it up about 10 days after we got engaged. It fits beautifully.

We think we've set a date (barring any crazy circumstances) September 25, 2010. This date honestly came about based on Hokie football. Getting married in Blacksburg in the fall means we had to choose a weekend when there wasn't a game because otherwise there wouldn't be any hotel rooms and traffic would be impossible. 367 days =)

After all the planning and things to prepare for the trip to Africa, I thought that the load would lighten post-trip, but alas, I have an incredible ability to fill any vacuum of free time in my life. Still, it's good fun things. Fuse is relaunching with a big series on October 18th, so that will be a cool day. (Also indecently, the three year mark for Greg & I dating & the Newcomb's 1-year anniversary). And of course wedding planning is now officially in full swing.

Speaking of, I had really hoped wedding dress shopping would be more fun than it is. So many people told me "Oh! I bought the first wedding dress I tried on!" Alright... Saturday was dress shop #4 for me and after at least a dozen dresses at each store I have exactly 2 possible options. And neither of them made me really say "wow!" Aren't I supposed to feel something when I put my wedding dress on?

Anyway, it's not as much of a fun process as I had hoped. Probably a lot of the stress comes from I'm pretty sure I know what I want, I just can't find it. I want to design my own, but that's quite expensive and time consuming. Years ago my mother banned me from making my own dress. She is right about this mind you... too many dances in high school she was helping me hem the dress 10 minutes before my date was too arrive. So I guess I'll just keep hunting.

That's all the fun stuff for now. Sorry for the delay in posting, I'll try to be more consistent. More Africa and a new talk up soon!

Africa Segment #2

Segment #2: Kimiad!

Kimiad itself is a phenomenal story of God’s provision & blessing. I cannot do the story justice, but I’ll suffice to say that the church was essentially given 120 acres of land 45 minutes south of Johannesburg (if you’re curious, google “Heidleberg, South Africa” and Kimiad is a few miles from there.) There was a former retreat center on the land that had fallen into disrepair, but in the last few years Eastside has worked to restore the buildings and grounds. They are still working on what God’s plan will be for the entirety of the land, but for now the restored retreat center will serve as a launching and training ground for volunteers during the 2010 World Cup. After the World Cup, they'r eho

So we arrived late Tuesday night but were warmly welcomed by the caretakers of Kimiad, Piet & Linda, and their daughter Sam. The most dramatic observation we all had upon arriving was that it is cold. Not like late evening September chill, but like a no-kidding, need-a-ski-jacket cold. It doesn’t matter that this country is named “South” and “Africa” both of which Americans associate with being sunny and hot, it is cold. But unfortunately, it’s not cold for long enough in the year to require all buildings to have heat and certainly none of the cinderblock cabins at Kimiad. Night #1: 3-4 blankets.

The following morning everyone came to breakfast in about 4 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, a ski hat and a scarf. Peit led us in studying the Word, then offered us breakfast as he told us the plan for the day. There is a building in the upper part of the grounds that is next on the list for restoration. A church in Virginia paid for drywall and contractors to turn the two large rooms into 14 small bedrooms. Our job was to work around the contractors to prepare the rest of the building. The girls were in charge of painting the roof and the external beams which had rusted over the years. Just before we arrived they had given the metal roof an acid bath, which allowed us to start right in.





When Peit told us our jobs, he said the girls would be painting and the guys would be inside demo-ing walls. I’ll be honest, I was kind of upset because why did the guys get the fun jobs breaking things? Then we saw the wall.



The guys worked in a cloud of dust chisseling at the cement for hours. The girls realized we were grateful to be able to work outside. Once the sun came up, the land heated up nicely and the roofwork was plesent to downright fun.

The second night we got a bit smarter and most of the girls filled up waterbottles with hot water to heat up the bottom of our beds. Night #2: 3-4 blankets, 1 hot water bottle.

The 2nd day was a continuation of the 1st days work, but that night added some complexity. The plan for our first work after Kimiad had been to go to the rural area of Marapane about 2 hours north of Pretoria. However, the day before we arrived in SA, the pastor we would be working with in Marapane called and told us he had spoken to the chief in the village who said their would be riots in the weekend and it would be unsafe for us to come. So as we worked, we started to pray like crazy that God would open the doors we needed to work where he wanted us.

Over the next couple days, God did open doors (really cool story I'll write about later), and we got connected to a young paster and his wife in a rural town called Mametlake. This word is in Tswana, a tribal language spoken in most of the region. I still cannot pronounce the third syllable of this town's name; it requires a significant ammount of spit in the back of your mouth. But you can Americanize it and make it sound something like "ma-ma-clark-ay"

The team worked at Kimiad through Saturday night... Then set off for our adventure in Mametlake early Sunday morning =)