Isaac & Rebekah

A Godly Marriage.

I feel kind of cliche writing about this, but I guess it's also important that God is teaching me things about it. Theknot.com says Greg and I have 347 days until we get married; this seems like an eternity and in instant at the same time. Tonight one verse in Genesis jumped out at me. It reveals an intimate portrait of a husband and a wife living under God's plan and provision.

Genesis 25:21 "Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The Lord answered his prayer and his wife Rebekah became pregnant."

Isaac knew that he was the blessed child that God had promised his parents for so many years. He knew that God had promised to fulfill his covenant to His people through his lineage, but yet his wife was barren.

Beth Moore wrote an interesting commentary about this passage, "God wasn't about to let such an important promise seem naturally fulfilled. Had Isaac and Rebekah conceived the first year, they would have been tremendously less attentive to spiritual purpose and divine participation."

For some reason, God chose women to bare children instead of men, and too often as our modern society shows, men can become detached from the whole process after their initial participation. God did not want Isaac to feel detached from the importance of the children with whom He was about to bless him & Rebekah. Rebekah could not fulfill God's plan on her own, she needed Isaac to pray over her so they could fulfill God's plan together.

Still, I can't help but notice it was 20 years between their marriage and the ultimate birth of Esau & Jacob. Did it take Isaac 20 years to think God might want him to pray over Rebekah, or did he do it all along, and God just waited to fulfill the promise? Either way, it does show the growth of a Godly man desiring to lead his marriage in a Godly way.

We women in modern America are too often able to "do it on our own." Whatever it is, whether in jobs or raising children or whatever. There has been a trend in Hollywood for late30s and early40s actresses to adopt or have a baby without a man around. But this goes against what God wants for his people. There is a generation of complacent men in America because women have not allowed them to learn to lead.

I am thrilled that I have a man who desires to lead our relationship, and I pray I am never a hindrance in what God is building in him. I love the idea of God blessing him so dramatically that his prayers over me are more powerful than any I could pray on my own.

I guess God does like us to be in community.

Refreshing Relationships

Last night was an incredible reminder of the value and necessity of having Godly female relationships.

Sher Vogel & Katie Pepiot came over to visit Steph & I and have dinner with us. We all met at VT, and at various times we have been together in classes and homegroup and mission trips. Our paths have happened to recross here in VA Beach for a short time, so dinner was required.

Katie returned in August from 2 years serving in the Peace Corps in South Africa, and Monday October 5th Sher leaves for the Peace Corps in Ethiopia.

The night was really relaxed. I enjoyed cooking for everyone because I rarely have anyone to cook for but me. We talked about life now and future plans and memories from back at VT. All four of us have been in South Africa in the last year, so it was great to talk about each of our experiences. It was really good to see how God has been training all four of us in different ways since we left Blacksburg.

Steph, Katie & I wanted to pray over Sher before she leaves next week but she would not allow us to do so until we premitted her to pray over us in turn. That's just the kind of woman Sher is =)

I was so refreshed by the night. There are times I feel like Elijah that I want to complain about being "the only one left". That "no one understands what I'm going through." And just when I start to fall into those states, God reminds me of all those around me who are serving the Lord with passionate and pure hearts.

It is nights like these that remind me how important it is to have a consistent Sabbath and to leave margin in my life. It is only in these times that I allow space for God to change my perspective.

Honestly... I really do like Blogging

I know you wouldn't believe it based on the extended time in between posts, but my excuse this time is guilt. I haven't made time to finish writing about Africa so I didn't want to write about other stuff until I finished. I have now given up on my idealism. I'll post Africa #3 as soon as I can.

The most important part of Africa that I didn't write about is...

I'M ENGAGED! Ok, so all of you who are reading this already know this. I just kept this off the blog for a while to make sure everybody knew.


This is a staged picture, but the emotion is still real; it was only a couple minutes after he proposed. (It was taken by this poor cleaning man whom I think we scared the heck out of.)

We are thrilled to be engaged, it still feel surreal some days. The two Tswana words I learned in the village we went to in South Africa were "mohonyana" and "makoti" those are the words for "bridegroom" and "bride," respectively. That's the closest they could teach us to fiance. I was also told that the $4 ring Greg bought me as a temporary engagement ring, must be worn on my right hand. The Tswana tradition moves the ring hand from the right ring finger to the left ring finger at the wedding.

I absolutely love the ring Greg designed & had made. It is a simple solitaire with a textured band. We got to go pick it up about 10 days after we got engaged. It fits beautifully.

We think we've set a date (barring any crazy circumstances) September 25, 2010. This date honestly came about based on Hokie football. Getting married in Blacksburg in the fall means we had to choose a weekend when there wasn't a game because otherwise there wouldn't be any hotel rooms and traffic would be impossible. 367 days =)

After all the planning and things to prepare for the trip to Africa, I thought that the load would lighten post-trip, but alas, I have an incredible ability to fill any vacuum of free time in my life. Still, it's good fun things. Fuse is relaunching with a big series on October 18th, so that will be a cool day. (Also indecently, the three year mark for Greg & I dating & the Newcomb's 1-year anniversary). And of course wedding planning is now officially in full swing.

Speaking of, I had really hoped wedding dress shopping would be more fun than it is. So many people told me "Oh! I bought the first wedding dress I tried on!" Alright... Saturday was dress shop #4 for me and after at least a dozen dresses at each store I have exactly 2 possible options. And neither of them made me really say "wow!" Aren't I supposed to feel something when I put my wedding dress on?

Anyway, it's not as much of a fun process as I had hoped. Probably a lot of the stress comes from I'm pretty sure I know what I want, I just can't find it. I want to design my own, but that's quite expensive and time consuming. Years ago my mother banned me from making my own dress. She is right about this mind you... too many dances in high school she was helping me hem the dress 10 minutes before my date was too arrive. So I guess I'll just keep hunting.

That's all the fun stuff for now. Sorry for the delay in posting, I'll try to be more consistent. More Africa and a new talk up soon!

Africa Segment #2

Segment #2: Kimiad!

Kimiad itself is a phenomenal story of God’s provision & blessing. I cannot do the story justice, but I’ll suffice to say that the church was essentially given 120 acres of land 45 minutes south of Johannesburg (if you’re curious, google “Heidleberg, South Africa” and Kimiad is a few miles from there.) There was a former retreat center on the land that had fallen into disrepair, but in the last few years Eastside has worked to restore the buildings and grounds. They are still working on what God’s plan will be for the entirety of the land, but for now the restored retreat center will serve as a launching and training ground for volunteers during the 2010 World Cup. After the World Cup, they'r eho

So we arrived late Tuesday night but were warmly welcomed by the caretakers of Kimiad, Piet & Linda, and their daughter Sam. The most dramatic observation we all had upon arriving was that it is cold. Not like late evening September chill, but like a no-kidding, need-a-ski-jacket cold. It doesn’t matter that this country is named “South” and “Africa” both of which Americans associate with being sunny and hot, it is cold. But unfortunately, it’s not cold for long enough in the year to require all buildings to have heat and certainly none of the cinderblock cabins at Kimiad. Night #1: 3-4 blankets.

The following morning everyone came to breakfast in about 4 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, a ski hat and a scarf. Peit led us in studying the Word, then offered us breakfast as he told us the plan for the day. There is a building in the upper part of the grounds that is next on the list for restoration. A church in Virginia paid for drywall and contractors to turn the two large rooms into 14 small bedrooms. Our job was to work around the contractors to prepare the rest of the building. The girls were in charge of painting the roof and the external beams which had rusted over the years. Just before we arrived they had given the metal roof an acid bath, which allowed us to start right in.





When Peit told us our jobs, he said the girls would be painting and the guys would be inside demo-ing walls. I’ll be honest, I was kind of upset because why did the guys get the fun jobs breaking things? Then we saw the wall.



The guys worked in a cloud of dust chisseling at the cement for hours. The girls realized we were grateful to be able to work outside. Once the sun came up, the land heated up nicely and the roofwork was plesent to downright fun.

The second night we got a bit smarter and most of the girls filled up waterbottles with hot water to heat up the bottom of our beds. Night #2: 3-4 blankets, 1 hot water bottle.

The 2nd day was a continuation of the 1st days work, but that night added some complexity. The plan for our first work after Kimiad had been to go to the rural area of Marapane about 2 hours north of Pretoria. However, the day before we arrived in SA, the pastor we would be working with in Marapane called and told us he had spoken to the chief in the village who said their would be riots in the weekend and it would be unsafe for us to come. So as we worked, we started to pray like crazy that God would open the doors we needed to work where he wanted us.

Over the next couple days, God did open doors (really cool story I'll write about later), and we got connected to a young paster and his wife in a rural town called Mametlake. This word is in Tswana, a tribal language spoken in most of the region. I still cannot pronounce the third syllable of this town's name; it requires a significant ammount of spit in the back of your mouth. But you can Americanize it and make it sound something like "ma-ma-clark-ay"

The team worked at Kimiad through Saturday night... Then set off for our adventure in Mametlake early Sunday morning =)

Africa Segment #1

Ok, so much for the constant Africa updates. I tried. Still, in my defense I have had little to no internet access and each day has been filled to about 93% capacity.

To attempt to put into one post the work we have been doing here would make a post too overwhelming to write or read, so I’ll post in a few different segments.

Segment #1:

The plane ride was basically uneventful, though I did almost no sleeping for the entirety of the 16 hours from Atlanta to Johannesburg.


This picture is the first view I had of African land. We crossed onto the continent over desert in Namibia just after the sun was rising. That was the moment I was glad to have a window seat.

I landed the night of Saturday the 18th and luckly Greg had no idea I was coming early. The pastor at Eastside Church, Riaan, lied exceptionally well and was able to get Greg to the airport without him suspecting. Standing in the airport we were discussing how comforting it is to know that our spiritual guide is an excellent liar.

Greg and I had three days together before the team arrived, which allowed for great reunion time for us before we began ministering to others. Greg took me around Pretoria, and I have gotten to put pictures to things he has described over the last 7 months. Sunday we went to church for the morning service, then in the afternoon my host family, the O’Briens, invited Greg and I to their house for a traditionally South African braai. This is essentially a bar-b-que but (no offence American loyalists) hot dogs and baked beans have nothing on South African braai food. I’m going to get a few recopies from Fransie (my host mom) before I leave, and hopefully I’ll be able to cook them back in the States.


After the braai, Greg and I went to a small nature right in the middle of the suburbs where we walked through and met some springbock, zebra, and got charged by an angry ostritch. It was quite a cliché African experience and I enjoyed every immensely.




Monday morning I went with Greg to work to help finalize some details for the team arriving, and then in the afternoon I got to go help Greg work with his boys soccer team at Sunnyside Primary School.

Tuesday we spent the day running errands and Tuesday evening the team landed just after 6:30pm South African time. We loaded up the cars, and drove the team 45 minutes south of Jo-burg to Kimiad, Eastside’s retreat center.
The following morning, work began.

Stay tuned for Segment #2 for details about Kimiad… =)

Sacrifice

The older I get, the more I have come to value those who speak truth into my life. I also recognize that it is a rare quality to find, which makes it that much more valuable. Terri Dewey is one of those people who can always speak truth into my life. And she does not just speak truth, she speaks truth with grace and love that serves to soften and heal without diverting the truth itself.

I'm going to be very honest. For the last few days I have been angry at God for everything he has asked of Greg and I. That anger spilled over at Greg as I placed unreasonable demands on him, just to have an excuse to be angry with him. The root of the issue was my anger at God for where Greg and I are. We've battled years of depression together and in the last 24 months, we've lived in the same city for only 2 of them, and for 6 of them we haven't even been on the same continent. We have watched as time after time couples around us have started dating, gotten engaged, and gotten married. Why is it easy for them? We have worked hard to make people feel comfortable around us, even to the point of putting our relationship last. Have we been punished for desiring to serve others?

As I poured this out to Terri tonight, I told her that I recognize that I'm being selfish, and I need to learn to get over all of this. Most of the time I can get a hold of these battles, I can stop comparing us to others, and I can be pleased that we are honoring God through our relationship. There are just times when those get the best of me.

Once I had released this to me she pointed something out that I hadn't even considered:

Have you even grieved about this? I hear you say you're trying to get over this, but is that really offering it as a sacrifice to the Lord? It's ok to bring the desires of your heart to the Lord and pour them out before Him, and it's ok to be hurt when they are not fulfilled. It is when we chose to die to those desires that we are truly making a sacrifice to Him.

What great truth. I had stopped looking at this relationship, our struggles, and this year apart as a sacrifice, and started to see it as a punishment. I must choose to lay the desires of my heart on God's alter, even if I do it in a shower of tears. By definition, I cannot make a sacrifice to the Lord if I give him something from which I've already detached myself.

And if I don't give him this, what else in my life is truly a sacrifice? There is literally no where else that God has asked me to offer to him against the desires of my heart. The rest of my heart is filled and overflowing. My needs are more than met, I have a house, and food, and a car, and friends, and a great job, and a church in which to serve, and a wonderful family... the list could run for pages. With all God has given me, I should be so lucky that I could place even the smallest offering on His alter.

Lord, take our relationship. Help me die to these desires each day - that they might be a fragrant offering to you.

Talk #2

I got to speak at Fuse for the 2nd time this past Sunday. It was exhilarating because so much of what I said was completely the Holy Spirit. Every time I practiced the talk I tripped up. There are a few transitions in the talk that I didn't get write until I said them on stage - that is only by the grace of God.

I still have much more to learn about teaching, and God is continuing to refine me. I don't like my tone of voice or inflection, and I say um to much, but that's part of the learning process. I just pray I have done nothing to butcher Biblical theology or historical timeline.

If you're interested... here goes talk #2 =)