Clockwork

When I read the old testament sometimes I think, "Really, were the Israelites just dense?" How many times did the prophets say the same things to them, and yet they continued to make the same mistakes.

But I do the same thing. I can look back at my life and see the same struggles, temptations, and immature attitudes repeating like clockwork. It doesn't matter how many well I think I've beaten something, it won't take long before it will creep back in.

In college I fought really hard to learn how to be graceful. It became a great desire of mine to pursue being a woman of grace and humility. I certainly wasn't perfect, but I made great strides. Two years later... here I am again. Yet again I am battling with a heart that knows neither how to be compassionate nor graceful. I stopped being vigilant and I lapsed back into my old habits.

I think ministries have this temptation as well. It's easy for ministries to get stale, clique-y, or misdirected if the leaders are not constantly analyzing the present state of the ministry and bringing it before God.

So my life and the ministries can be just like the Israelites; predictably and perpetually stuck in bad habits. Each day I have to decide if I'm going to continue to pursue away from the bad habits and into the good ones.