Confessions of a Martha

I think I stole this title. I'm not sure where it's from, but my head says it's not original. I've known for most of my life that in the story of Mary and Martha, I am a Martha. However, today it flared up badly.

The story goes that Jesus came to the house of Mary and Martha, and while he was teaching Mary sat attentively at his feet, listening to the word. Martha was running around cleaning and preparing food and such. She got frustrated and asked "Lord, doesn't it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me." (Luke 10:40 NLT)

But Jesus didn't command Mary, he corrected Martha. "There is really only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it-and I won't take it away from her." (vs 42)

Ouch.

My story started last night when a couple of the guys from FUSE (Sunday nights, 7pm at Glenwood - be there) were helping me move (see what nice guys come to FUSE?).

One of them asked me after the 10th or 11th trip down the stairs, "How many musical instruments do you have?!"

My response: "2 saxes, a bass, and a guitar."

His response: "Dude! Then why aren't you playing in the worship band?!"

Ouch. Without meaning to, he had struck a really hard chord for me. When we started talking about Fuse months ago I really REALLY wanted to play in the worship band. I haven't gotten to lead worship in more than 4 years and I really miss it. But after wrestling with God about it, I realized that there are many musicians and not nearly enough detail people, so God kicked me out of a band before I even got in it.

So this afternoon the set up team for Fuse was exactly 3 people (2 for the first hour). As I was hauling chairs, lifting couches, and preping food, the band was practicing on stage. I grew more, and more bitter by the minute. (And not just because 7 strong guys were on stage instead of lifting couches). I got bitter because they were doing the ministry I wanted to be doing. I don't like details, I am willing to take on administration roles because it is one of my spiritual gifts, but I don't like it. Buying food, preparing it, cleaning it up, hauling couches, setting up tables - none of that is fun. I want to lead worship!

After the service got even worse. Once most people had left, a few of us started to clean up. And by a few, I mean, a few. The rest sat around talking, playing guitar, or tossing a frisbee.

My head started yelling at God. "God, what's wrong with these people?! Don't they care about being a servant like me?! I'm doing a great service to God by not leading worship and doing these miserable jobs!"

And after that thought, God gave me a swift kick in the teeth. I was being a Martha. The people standing around talking were doing things far more important than anything I could be doing. The Kingdom of God is not built by carrying couches or washing dishes. Sure God appreciates it, but He values relationships far, far more.

Thanks God for the humility reminder. No amount of sacrifice I could give could come close to what you sacrificed for me. Maybe I'll learn someday, but I have a feeling I'll need many more reminders.